Saying Goodbye.

How do you say goodbye to something that’s been with you all your life? It can be pretty devastating to have to discard something that you were born with. Making a decision to say goodbye to the girls was not one I wanted to make, but I have learned that when something is negatively affecting you-you release it.

I’ve done this often in my life, never with a body part, but it’s a similar idea. There are activities, people, jobs that negatively affect you. Energy suckers. They are the things or people that take and take and don’t give back. The ones that are constantly negative towards you, around you, or just use your time for their own purposes. Learning to distance yourself and saying “NO” from energy suckers is a big key to your mental health.

After thinking about my breasts, the ones who have been there thick and thin (or in my case really thin, unless I was nursing) were negatively impacting my emotional and physical well-being with being cancer-prone. My breasts have been energy suckers. It’s all I’ve been thinking about since December 2017. It’s time to let go.

So, Bye Felicia!

I cried a bit when I realized what I had to do, but then I started looking for the silver lining. Here are a few I found. I will preface this with these are things you don’t say to a person who is facing a double mastectomy. In fact, if you have not had cancer of any sort, I would recommend being a listening ear only.

1. No more cancer. As soon as the boobs are gone, so is cancer. I will then be cancer-free.
2. No chance for reoccurrence. The likelihood of getting breast cancer again drops almost to zero when there is no breast tissue.
3. No more pain. Personally, I did not like the tenderness that came with monthly hormonal changes. Lately, I haven’t liked the pain from my healing lumpectomy. I want it all to stop.
4. No more mammograms. Can I get an amen? I’m not all too certain about this, I am sure there will be some observations for the next few years, but I won’t have any breast tissue to squeeze. I’ll let you know when I find this out for sure.
5. No radiation. Since it’s all coming out. I no longer need to have this route. That is 30 days I get back.
6. A choice in my appearance. (*sidebar* Here is where you do not say to someone, “At least you get new boobs!”) When the plastic surgeon asked me what size I’d like to become, I answered, “I’d like to have a full B cup.” I didn’t mind my barely B size because I’ll live with what was given to me, but if I could fill out a bra properly, I’ll take that. I’m not a “go big or go home” type of girl. B’s are just fine for my tall, small-boned frame.

Baby Steps

I am positive I will still go through some mourning stages of losing my bosom buddies, but reminding myself of the upside of this event will help me get through it.